Apostrophe S

Last night was my first trip to the city. That’s right, NYC, the place to be. I wasn’t as awestruck as some told me I would be, but I must say it is a freakin’ huge city. The whole area for miles in every direction is just metropolis. Simply amazing. What did I choose to do on my first adventure in New York? Actually, I kind of let Rachel & co. give me a tour. We didn’t even leave Neptune until 9-ish, which means we didn’t get to Newark to pick Rachel up until 10-ish, which means we really didn’t get to the city until 10:30-ish, which means we weren’t really out prowling the street until near 11 p.m. That’s pretty late to start a tour of the major NYC sights, so we reserved that for another trip, hopefully one that starts much earlier.

Driving into the city was very cool. We took the Holland Tunnel, which turned out to be a lot longer than I had imagined it. Also, it wasn’t straight as I imagined it. Instead, it curved all over the place. We got kind of turned around after that, and ended up on the FDR, which I guess is an expressway. That was cool because I got to see Brooklyn all lit up in the night, as well as the Brooklyn bridge and that other bridge that wants to be the Brooklyn bridge. At one point in the night, I did catch a glimpse of the Chrysler building, all lit up. That was neat.

Rachel & co. (which is Toni and Janice) decided the East End would be a good place to go. We went to St. Mark’s, which I gather is both the name of the street and of the locality. Basically it’s 10 city blocks of native and ethnic restaurants, and so many bars I never even attempted to count them. We walked around for a while, until it came time to find a place to actually go. Then Rachel and Janice got in a little scuff, and they were quiet for a while, then we went to this place called Yaffa Cafe. It was a nice little (and believe me, every bar or eatery in NYC is little) restaurant. I had a Caesar salad and a Sam Adams. We stayed there for a while, 1 a.m. I’d say, before we ditched and went looking for somewhere else to be in NYC. We aimed for this club called Niagara. It was a nice little bar on the corner of something and something else. The really fun part was the tiki bar in the basement, where the kids were all dancing. We took in the sounds and sights (there was a barrel where a woman was dancing, fully clothed, don’t worry), and had some drinks. Eventually Rachel started getting into the dance thing and I just watched for a while. Even more eventually, I started trying. Yes, I did my white guy shuffle on the raised area in a bar in NYC. You know the white guy shuffle: bend your knee to the rhythm, nod your head, sway a little, and smile. The hardest part of dancing, I think, is what to do with your arms. They always seem in the way. I think we’d all be better dancers if we didn’t have arms. It’s not so bad when you’re holding a drink, because then at least one hand can be occupied. So anyway, that will be a cherished memory.

After the Niagara tiki bar, we went to this karaoke bar called Lucky Cheng’s. Mind you we left Niagara at about 3:00 a.m. Not only is Lucky Cheng’s a karaoke bar, it’s also a drag bar. The waitresses are all guys in drag. It was entertaining. I thought Rachel & co. were going to participate in the karaokeing, but they chickened out. We watched people make fools of themselves until about 4 or 4:30 a.m. (it got a little fuzzy after that), and then we left and decided it was time we get on the road. The last song that was played was New York, New York, which Rachel thought was just all too appropriate. Walking 5 blocks seems to take longer at the end of a night than at the beginning. Once we got back to Newark to pick up Rachel’s car, we all got back on the parkway to head home. Rachel was fading fast driving on the way home, and the sun was beginning to come up. By the time we parked in front of the house, it was 5:45 and definitely bright daylight out. Needless to say, we decided we ought to sleep.

This morning, I woke up feeling a lot better than I usually do after a night like last night. Usually, I feel like an ash tray that’s had a beer dumped into it. This morning, I only felt the latter because there is no smoking in NYC bars and restaurants. I didn’t really think much of it while I was there, but in retrospect it’s kind of nice for those of who don’t smoke. Go New York.

That was first of hopefully many adventures in NYC. I wish I had pictures to show you, but it would have been hard to take pictures in dark bars. I’m sure there was more I wanted to tell you, but I can’t remember it now. I think of things all the time I should write about on this sucker, but I always forget what they were later on. Maybe I should keep a notebook or something. Maybe write on my hand what it was.

Until my next adventure, take care…

ON AIR: Ted Leo - Timorous Me

Today went alright. It wasn’t great, but it was alright. Work was once again limited by the amount of stuff they’ve given me to do, but I did get a photo illustration on the front page. See, I did this little Photoshop trick with my last spread, where I greyscaled the entire image, then used the history brush to bring back the color in certain areas. Harris liked this so much that he asked me to do it with a photo of racing horses. So that was interesting. The only problem with the effect is that I have to convert the photo back to CMYK, so the uncolored sections are actually 4 color blacks, which means a lot of faith is put into the registration skills of the guys at the press. Registration what? Let me explain:

Every time you pick up anything that has been printed lithographically (newspapers, books, magazines, etc.), it’s printed using plates. For black and white pages, there is only one plate, the K, or black, plate. For color, you have to add one plate each for C, M and Y. It’s a combination of tiny dots of each of these colors that produce the wide range of colors you see on printed pages. Now, this effect depends on the ability of the press operator to make sure that all of the plates line up correctly, which can be more challenging than it sounds. If one of the plates is off, you’ll notice, because the anything in color will be blurry, and you’ll see a “shadow” of whichever plate is off register around two sides of all of the photographs on the page. bad registration can make really good page design look like crap. Usually early editions of pages are at the most risk of having registration problems, as the press operators work to correct it as the press run goes on.

It’s done for almost anything that’s printed. Next time you open a cereal or pop tart box, look at the flaps. Sometimes you’ll see lines of color dots or blocks, and something that looks like a bullseye. Those are registration tools; printers use them to make sure everything is lining up correctly. You don’t see them on newspapers or magazines because they are printed on edges that are later cropped off. Anyway, more than you wanted to know. There’s a mini lesson in photo-lithographic printing, and registration. (For those who know: Everything right? Or should I retake that class?

The importance of registration to your every day life? Absolutely nothing. Although, I guarantee if all of the publications you frequently read suddenly stopped caring about it, you would notice.

Now, have you ever noticed how the price of every imaginable commercial transaction in the United States is based on the price of gasoline? We depend on gasoline to ship nearly all of our goods, and when the price of transporting your favorite brand of waffles goes up, so does the price of your favorite waffles. (Probably Eggo, if you’re smart.) It’s a vicious cycle. Just to let you all know, gas is still under $2 for regular here in Jersey. What’s everyone paying where they are these days?

Again, just random stuff today. I’ve got big plans for the weekend, though, so stay tuned!

Until then, take care…

ON AIR: The Decemberists - The Tain