Apostrophe S

Ok. I said I’d write again. Didn’t know it would be the same day.

So I went to my physical, not really knowing what to expect. I was hoping that it wouldn’t be the full, please-change-into-this-big-napkin kind of physical. Fortunately, it wasn’t. It was the basics: blood pressure, pulse, breathing, eyesight, you know, the “are you alive” type tests. Then I had to give a urine sample, which, no matter how you do it, always ends up being humiliating. The nurse sends me into this tiny bathroom, and I’m expected to piss into a cup. Everyone knows this drill. You know she’s right on the other side of the door, and no matter if you had to go like a russian racehorse 2 seconds earlier, you can’t go. Then, if you can go, you only need to fill the cup, so what do you do with the rest? Hopefully you can avoid getting it on your hands. Anyway, so I finally finish and go back out. The nurse says that I may now wash my hands, IF I WANT. What person doesn’t wash their hands after handing a urine sample to a nurse? Then I sat in a chair and waited for another nurse to come in and “talk about my results.” That’s a whole new story.

The nurse was nice enough. She didn’t have a Jersey accent (very few people I’ve met have, where are these people they show on TV?) But she seemed to know the place. She was friendly. Maybe too friendly for someone who was handling a cup of my urine. I made the mistake of mentioning that I was not from around here, and she began talking about everything that I should do. She said I should check out the Stone Pony, where Springsteen played all the time back in the day. There I was, talking about the Boss over a sample of my own urine, and it just didn’t seem right. Anyway, then I was done with that.

After that, I went to work. They put me on the cover and inside spread on a tab called “Islander.” They did this as I walked in the door. I haven’t even filled out a single form or been given any kind of admission to the building. I could have been anybody. Oh well, my boss said there’ll be more of that stuff tomorrow. Maybe it was because all of the HR people had already went home. Anyway, I have that job to do and a computer and a G4 all to myself. I have pretty much free reign over the design of the pages I’m working on. It’s going to be a good summer, workwise, I think. Take care…