Monthly Archive for June, 2004

She loves grammar tests

I don’t know about you, but I just love to prove my command of the English language with feats of great mental strength. One such feat is the ability to wield the apostrophe. To test your own skill with this multfunctional language device, click here.

Also, if you really love to prove you are worth your weight in type, try a nice typing challenge. I’ve tried many online typing tests, and I average somewhere between 55 and 70 words per minute, depending on the test. Here’s a quick and easy one.

Now, what did I do yesterday? Not much. Rachel and I walked on the boardwalk through some crazy fog coming from the ocean. It was like something out of a horror flick. Coolness.

Also, I was alerted by my very dear aunt of a sniglet presence on the Web. What is a Sniglet? A Sniglet is a word that should be in the dictionary, but isn’t. There was a comedian in the ’80s who had a whole series of books on it. My dear aunt sent me a link that had some of them listed. I also remembered that the books had illustrations for some of the words. Upon researching this further, I found a Web site that had a bunch of the images here. Knock yourselves out.

I’ve been working at the paper for about 5 weeks or so, and the HR lady just dropped by today to hand me a small manila envelope which she told me contained a security card that would grant me entry into the building. Boy, it’s a good thing I haven’t needed to get in here until now! Upon opening the envelope and dropping the contents into my hand, I discovered that this paper is a little behind on security technology. At the DN at home, our security cards resemble blank credit cards, same thickness, weight, etc. The card I received today was a brick compared to those. It was the thickness of 4 credit cards, and made of solid metal with a plastic wrapper around it. The thing is hefty. Also, upon closer inspection, I discovered some sort of residue all over both sides of the card. I figured then that it must be the “loaner.” It looked as if it had spent about 3 years swimming around the bottom of a very messy woman’s purse. I put it back into the envelope, and decided I’d clean it up when I got home.

Oh, I bet you’re wondering why this is called “She loves grammar tests.” Well, I’m sure you get the grammar tests part, but the she loves part comes from this email newsletter I subscribe to called shelovesny. I think it’s a NYC restaurant review newsletter, but it’s written in such an abstract way that it’s not very easy to tell. I highly suggest getting on the mailing list, though, as half of my enjoyment comes from trying to decipher the odd language. shelovesny.com. Check it out.
Well, I’m sure I forgot something, but I bet you’re tired of reading now. If I remember, I’ll post again later. Take care…

ON AIR: The Mars Volta - This Apparatus Must Be Unearthed

Breaking news from the homefront

Another Wednesday has come and is going. I don’t have a particular fondness for Wednesdays. I suppose there are worse days of the week, like Monday. But really, Wednesday is the farthest day from a weekend on a timeline. It’s been two days since the weekend, and the next weekend is still two days away. It’s like the nexus of doom for the work week. That reminds me.

I gotta give my brother, Corey, props for this new modifier I’ve picked up. Actually, it’s two new modifiers. You see, everyday language is boring. References to the objects that we use in our life are so mundane. Phrases such as “This is my T-Bird,” or “Where is the creamer?” just have no oomph whatsoever. My brother devised a solution to boring language. Assign every object one of these two modifiers: “of justice” or “of doom.” It truly makes a difference. “This is my T-Bird of Justice” really grabs people’s attention, as does “Where is the Creamer of Doom?” Try it next time you’re at work. Start labeling things. I’m typing on my PowerMac of Justice right now. Later I’ll work on a Harris Terminal of Doom. Then I’ll go refill my Coffee Mug of Justice. Remember that adding these modifiers makes the name of the object a proper noun, so it must be capitalized. I think if I do another blog it should be called the Blog of Justice. Again, props go out to Corey for this marvel of modern language.

Just found out that the 9/11 commission found no connection between Iraq and Al Queda. Big surprise, right? I think most Americans have concluded that our national leaders’ evidence for the necessity of an Iraq invasion, while not entirely unfounded, was at least poorly corroborated and/or manipulated. I usually consider myself a fence-sitter when it comes to politics. I don’t really like to commit, but I can almost guarantee that I won’t be voting for the shrub. Between these latest 9/11 commission findings, the prisoner abuse, the seemingly unstoppable violence in Iraq, and Michael Moore’s new film, the incumbant is going to have a much tougher time getting reelected than he did getting elected. And that’s saying something.

Well, until that day. Take care…

The exciting Monday

Let’s face it, there is nothing exciting about Monday. Even if you’ve ever been excited on a Monday, it was probably because something happened that was out of the ordinary. A normal, run-of-the-mill Monday just sucks. You still have the cobwebs of the preceding weekend in your brain and all you can think about is that the next weekend is still 4 days away. So really, I don’t have much to say about today. Yet…

Instead, let me tell you about my Sunday. Still having my folks around, I was limited to “family” type activities. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you, it’s just how it is. We traveled to the legendary Sandy Hook. My parents found the view of the city from the beach very cool, as did I the first time I saw it. I also got to watch the tide come in. After Sandy Hook, we went to Red Bank so my mom could check out some of the funky shops there. We had dinner at the Broadway Diner in Red Bank, and then went back to Asbury Park, where my parents are staying at the Berkeley Cartert Hotel. This is a pretty neat old hotel. The architecture is from a bygone era, and there are ghosts haunting the halls. The bartender at the hotel bar, Phil, is a neat guy with lots of good stories to tell. I’ve heard from friends that the Berkeley is really the only decent place to stay in Asbury, so I’m glad my parents stumbled onto it. My dad got to visit the Stone Pony, which made him pretty happy.

Sorry for the really brief and boring post. I’m just not feeling very much like typing a lot today. Just fill in the details between the bare facts I’ve given you to make for a much better story. I’ll try better next time, I promise. Take care…

ON AIR: Audio something

NYC 3

To commemorate this, my 30th blog entry, I’m going to tell you all about my third venture into the city. This time, however, my entourage wasn’t comprised of Rachel, Toni or Janice. Nope. Actually, my parents and brother have come out to the shore for a long weekend to visit and see the sights. My parents are big Springsteen fans, just like me, so they thought it would be a fun vacation. So we all together went to the city. It was their first time, and my first time in daylight.

This trip started out very different from my other trips, aside from the company. We decided to take the train in because, honestly, I didn’t want to put my father behind the wheel of a car in Manhattan. Not that I would want to do it myself, either, mind you. Anyway, so we took a train. It was about an hour ride, and we had to switch trains once.

The NJ Transit deposited us at Penn Station, which is pretty much in the middle of it all. It’s actually below Madison Square Garden. From there, we walked down a few streets to stand at the base of the Empire State Building. It’s a lot more impressive from close up. We didn’t ride to the top, though, because the line was all the way out to the street. We did buy some roasted nuts from a vendor there. They were a lot better than I expected roasted nuts to be. Yum.

From the Empire State Building, we decided to see Times Square in all its glory. It was OK. Kind of busy for my taste. Lots of tourists. They were, of course, just like us. But maybe they like that sort of thing. I guess huge billboards just don’t impress me as much as they might impress others. We got lunch at this place called Roxy Deli. There we paid a lot of money for basic lunch items. I think my BLT cost $15, and that was just for the sandwich, and that was on the low end of things. Maybe New Yorkers are used to selling kidneys to eat, but it seemed a little exorbitant to me, and to my father who was footing the bill. OK you New Yorkers who might be reading: Roxy sucks, doesn’t it? We were just drawn in by the crazy flashing lights on the sign, weren’t we? The thing I liked the least about it were the bad caricatures of celebrities on the walls with shameless plugs in cartoon speech bubbles. I was embarrassed for the celebrities, whose most famous whatever was shanghaied to sell pastrami. I decided that Times Square is for “the stroller crowd” and that subsequent visits to the city should be more focused on the niche attractions, the places that actual New Yorkers go to. Had to see it, though.

After that, we walked some blocks to Central Park, where I found giant rocks the likes of which I had no expectation of finding in the middle of Manhattan. We didn’t walk all the way around Central Park (it’s like 40 blocks!), just enough to get a taste. We watched a little bit of a couple of softball games, saw the carousel, saw some water, and then decided to move on. It’s a bunch of trees, after all. Come on, we’re from Indiana, it’s not like we’ve never seen trees before. As a matter of fact, I bet Central Park is more extraordinary to people who’ve lived in the city their whole lives than it is to people who’ve lived in the suburbs all of theirs. But again, had to see it.

After that, we braved the New York subway to get down to the financial district to see the WTC site. The subway was just about what I would expect, except the trains started up a lot faster that I first expected, which caught me off guard the first time. No matter how many times you see it one TV, no matter how many 6 column photos overlaid with expensive serif type with names like Hoefler you’ve seen, seeing the place in person still demands awe. I guess to me I never realized how BIG the place was. This wasn’t a normal city block, it was more like 5 or 6. And seeing the place there, in the middle of all the other buildings still working, still alive and well, you can’t help but feel a little proud of our country. I know there’s a big hoopla about what the Memorial World Trade Center Disaster Center for Peaceful Pacification Memorial should look like and be about and who should build it, but I can’t help wishing they would just rebuild the towers as they were, and put them back to use. I know that probably wouldn’t fly, but maybe it would say something about our resolve. The world changed that day a couple years ago, and I guess sometimes I wish we could go back to those days.

After WTC, we went on our marathon hike. First we walked to Chinatown, which was just about what I expected. There was Chinese writing everywhere and a lot of Chinese restaurants and shops. There were also a LOT of street vendors selling crap. You know, the kind of vendors who pack up very quickly when they see guys with badges. I could have bought have a dozen movies that aren’t even out, on DVD no less. I could have bought any kind of watch or pair of sunglasses that I wanted. I could have eaten just about anything I could imagine. I could even have bought all manner of Chinese pornography, which I can’t believe is much different from U.S. pornography. After all, how naked can you possible get? There were some neat places. There was this one shop that was selling some kind of green drink with what looked like chocolate chips or tapioca or something in the bottom. I’m not sure, I never saw a picture of one with an English name on it. I wanted to stop and get one, but by then the fam was pushing to move on to the next area. Anyone know that that stuff was so I can look for it again?

After Chinatown, we walked a little ways to Greenwich Village, which I liked because I’d been there before and could actually point things out that I knew. We stopped at a restaurant called Caliente for dinner. They had decent margaritas, only they cost $15 a piece. Fortunately we got to keep the glasses. We didn’t eat much just shared an appetizer plate, which was plenty for all four of us. The margarita wasn’t the best I’ve had, but it was pretty damn strong, so I had a decent buzz for the walk back to Penn Station, which was a lot longer than my dad seemed to imply.

Once in Penn Station, we figured out which track our train was arriving at, and we got on. The ride back was kind of uneventful, except for some rowdy drunkards who were being very loud. I kind of slept for part of trip. Once back, we got back in our car and called it a trip.

The trip was pretty cool. There are pictures, but they’re on my dad’s camera. Once I get them from him, I’ll try to augment this post to include the photos. That’s my third adventure in the city. Stay tuned, and take care…

ON AIR: Snow Patrol - Run

Ugh, my mouth tastes like Thursday

Ever dream in the morning that you’ve gotten up, showered, brushed your teeth, and are almost ready to go, only to wake up late having done none of the above described things? I hate that. It happened to me this morning. It’s almost like my body’s defense against getting up. The mind convinces itself that it is actually doing the things that it has to, so that it doesn’t actually have to do them. This has happened to me before. Once, I dreamt I got up, went to class, took a final and aced it. When I awoke, class was starting in five minutes and I hadn’t studied. My brain is just trying to protect me, I guess. I wonder if there are other documented cases of this phenomena. I should check the literature.

I woke up late yesterday, too. As a matter of fact, it caused me to be late to work, by about 15 minutes. Fortunately, my job is based on work done, so all I really have to do is work twice as hard for at least 15 minutes while I’m there. Or maybe work 50 percent harder for 30 minutes. Either one’s good, really.

I feel almost obligated to say something about our dear departed former President. I was watching the Daily Show the other night, and Jon Stewart noted something that was very interesting. He was quoting a recent news show on which Newt Gingrich was asked whether Ronald Reagan would have approved of the situation in Iraq. Stewart noted that no one really cared what Reagan thought until after he was DEAD. Gingrich said he thought Reagan would have approved. Reagan’s not here answer for himself anymore. The Onion also noted that Nancy Reagan, 82, is now available.

Work has been pretty uneventful the last few days. I’ve had plenty to do, so I haven’t been bored. The bosses have been increasing my work load as they see me completing stuff faster. Fine by me. All goes into the portfolio. And speaking of, Newspagedesigner.com has been messing up lately. For those of you who use the site, you might want to check to make sure your stuff is still there.

Anyone else on the MoveOn.org mailing list? Those guys are nuts. My first clue was when they took the recent Hollywood disaster film “The Day After Tomorrow” and actually tried to wield it as leverage against Bush and Co.’s environmental policies. Al Gore loves MoveOn.org, and we’ve already talked about his looniness. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m about as far from agreeing with Bush’s politics as anyone, but these guys are crazy looney. These people were the kids in school who always had their hands up to contradict the teacher, usually just for the sake of the spotlight. And don’t think these people are limited to grade-school classrooms. Believe me, there’s at least one in every college class, too. What is MoveOn.org good for? Mostly laughs. That’s not all, though. I’ll admit, sometimes they do hit on important issues, even if it is with a horribly off-balanced sledgehammer of bias. I would suggest jumping on their mailing list if you aren’t already. At the very least it’s good entertainment in you inbox most every week, at the most, you’re part of a very large and growing organization devoted to a healthy democracy and political sensationalism.

Take care…
ON AIR: BK - Believer